August 8, 2017

Tuesday Diet

I started a diet on Monday like I always do. Do I look any smaller?

August 1, 2017

Running Buddy Wanted

I need someone to go jogging with that knows how to push one of those 3 wheeled "Mom running" strollers.  Then I need one of those strollers that's big enough to hold me.  

July 25, 2017

I'm Too Sexy for Underwear

Remember how when we were teenage girls?  You would not leave the house without 2 hours of hair and makeup and checking your ass in the mirror 7 times?  Well I just went to Walmart without so much as putting on underwear. Now before you go getting all judgey on me thinking I've given up and I don't care anymore, I'd like to say in my defense that I was wearing my husband's shorts... The kind with the nylon mesh nut sack holder.  So that counts.  #Still Got It!!!

August 15, 2016

All THE RIGHT GEAR ALL THE TIME!

I was mowing the lawn at dusk, because it’s about 100 degrees cooler than it was that afternoon. I wore shorts and tennis shoes.

When I inadvertently kicked a snake, better than him getting hit by the mower blades I guess, but it touched my bare leg, so gross!

So this perfectly illustrates the biker safety motto, All The Right Gear All The Time.

What the Harley does this have to do with mowing lawns?

Well, had I been wearing my Harley Davidson kick ass, yet super cute with a little trashy bling on the side, but still made from half inch thick leather from the hide of a former rodeo bull known as the widow maker that come half way up my calf and cost more than the lawn mower, I would of stood my ground with said snake.  

"Come on you slithery M-Fer let’s see what ya got?"


But I was wearing tennis shoes and shorts so I cried and ran inside. 

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