Random thoughts not by Jack Handey
One day when my parents were first married my dad brought home shrimp, which was a big deal back then with their very limited budget. After becoming frustrated with my mom’s refusals to just try it once, Dad yelled at her, “… if you’re not gonna put it in your mouth, just try putting your tongue on the end of it and see if you like it!” Imagine Gladys Kravitz getting a load of that one.
I recently got a job. It’s a good thing because I was running out of office supplies at home.
The last hotel room we stayed in looked like a crime scene. Seriously it was gross, and they did not even give us shampoo or soap. Oddly enough there was plenty of lotion.