Have you been sitting at the last red light before you get to work hoping for a crash so you don’t have to go in? Naturally no one is hurt in this aching thought; just your car is so jacked up that you don’t have to go in. And the guy who hit you is a bazillionaire with tons of tickets so he pays you $400,000 to not call the cops. Hell, you would settle for $50,000 but you take it and you quit your job. Oh gawd that would be so good.
Have you ever been sitting at your job watching out the window, knowing you should be sooooo thankful that you got a window, but secretly hoping that those clouds rolling by would rain enough to cause Noah like flooding and that your boss would have to send everybody home early because the building is flooding? Of course, no one is hurt in this scenario either.
Remember like ten years ago when you were sitting in a cubical on job number who remembers and looking across the room at a woman in her fifties and praying to Jesus to please please please not let that be you one day? Do you know how soon one day is rolling up on you?
Do you know how they say… It’s not the heat it’s the humidity? They’re right! It’s the freaking humidity! Please save me from flippin' Florida, it’s like I have been wearing a bear suit for 7 years. A wet bear suit. I would kill for chapped lips.
Have you ever noticed that you can’t make me happy; I will always find something to bitch about?