November 24, 2009

Let's Do Lunch

If you have ever worked a job were your primary objectives are EAT SHIT and SHOVEL SHIT, then you know how important breaks are. At my job, I work a ten hour shift with a half hour lunch and two breaks. My desk is one floor up from the cafeteria and really, really far from the bathroom, so time is of the essence. You see every minute I am not tethered to my phone it counts against my performance score.

“Yeah, so?” you may be asking. “We know cubical world sucks, tell us something new?”

So… I have sunk to a new low.

The clock struck lunch, I raced down the stairs, threw my Lean Cuisine in one of the tower of dirty microwaves, ran to the bathroom, came back, grabbed my 300 calories of grilled chicken and penne with a “creamy” sauce, found the table with the least amount of other people’s lunches stuck to it and settled in for the remaining 23 minutes of freedom.


I forgot to pack utensils.

My lunch break falls exactly five hours into my shift with five to go after it. I was hungry and knew I would not make it till quitting time.


I tore off a corner of the box, formed something of a cardboard shovel out of it and ate my entrée. I am pretty sure I ate some of the box/fork. Does that count as fiber?

PS When I said, new low, I meant sober new low.

No comments: