I just want to thank everyone who has shown me so much support in my quest to weigh less than my husband. I am almost there; would have been there if he hadn’t decided to start eating right and working out too. “I love you baby but go eat a cheeseburger would ya?”
It’s a hard road. Especially the one to the gym at five in the morning, but I am feeling so healthy that maybe I'll start conditioning to do a marathon. I think I'll buy a training bra.
I have even started eating athletic-ish foods. You know, like Rocky drinking raw eggs before a workout. The other night I mixed my Metamucil powder with a PowerAde drink. I’ll keep you posted on how that worked out.
I just can’t handle raw eggs though. And I don’t think I am going to get up an extra half hour early to poach one. (That would be 4:30 in the morning. I used to eat eggs at 4:30 A.M. every Sunday morning… at Denny’s on the way home from the club, but they weren’t poached that’s for damn sure.)
So I need a quick healthy way to get protein before the gym without having to spend $2. a pop on pre-mixed shakes.
If only chickens could lay cooked eggs. OMG! What if chickens could lay deviled eggs? Yeah now we’re talking. General Foods or somebody could figure out a way to inject the hens with mayo and vinegar… bam! They’re laying deviled eggs.
I don’t know though. I already occasionally, when no one is behind me, and when I’m not near a fan, sneak out an innocent little fart-ette while on the treadmill. (The big wind breakers that sound like an eighteen-wheeler just Jake-braked on a 90% grade are not me... I swear. The perpetrator was probably the old marine in the corner, really, I saw him clench.)
I would never let loose with a cheek rippler of that magnitude. I’d be afraid I’d crap on the treadmill. (You saw what I’ve been drinking. It’s not like I want to, but the cycling class has got my sphincter swollen shut. I need a little assistance.)
My husband says I worried about it too much because at five in the morning the Y is full of geezers. “You think one of these old fuckers hasn’t shit on a treadmill before?” he said.
I never thought of it like that.
“It would just roll on off the back and you’d clean it up later”
See what I mean? He is my athletic supporter numero uno.