September 23, 2011

facebook Constipates Me

I used to have a fairly regular morning routine; wake up, make coffee, throw the dishes in the machine, that sort of thing. By then the coffee would be ready and I would take it along with the NY Times crossword puzzle and retire to the “reading room” where I would see about the business of delivering the “mail”.

Not anymore. Now facebook constipates me! My morning routine is in shambles and I haven’t worked a crossword, read a book or written anything longer than one hundred and forty characters in months.

I still get my coffee, but I park in front of the computer to see who’s up, who’s not, what they are doing, did they read my thing, did they comment on my thing, should I comment on their thing, who tagged me, should I tag them, what color is your bra and should I lie about mine being white with comfort straps.

I’ve got to get in the shower for work, but wait, oh snap; that picture is funny, I just have to forward it, let me just post this picture and then I’ll get off the computer, oh hell no, she did not just post that… It’s endless.

The stress of keeping up with the newsfeed makes me twitter! It’s no wonder I can’t poop.

1 comment:

John F Robbins said...

I enforce the rule "DO PHYSICAL STUFF BEFORE VIRTUAL REALITY STUFF". For example, I get up at 5:30 or 6am, have a cup of coffee, start my daily 1-hr exercises by 6:30, take care of household chores inside or out for upto an hour, then shower, then dress, dishes and breakfast. FINALLY it's time to head to the office. Check email first since email brings paying work, which FB never does. If I have any pending paying work, I start on that after email. After all paying work is done, or if it's time for lunch or end-of-workday shutdowns, THEN I check FB quickly before shutting down the computer. Put FB in its place, further down your priority ladder, that's my recommendation!