I am awake. I am a sentient nerd.
The reality that I may always have been a nerd and not known it, really harshes my buzz. I thought I was kewl. I rebel to the point of screwing myself regularly, whilst thinking I just stuck it to the man, I wear pink converse tennis shoes, classic kewl kid garb only slightly milded by the hue, and I use the f-bomb as an adjective every chance I get. You see, I am just as kewl as I was in the 10th grade. Which would be totally rad dude except that I keep catching myself doing way un-kewl shit.
Recently I became aware that when I greet my neighbors I usually say, “hey neighbor”. I thought this was a good way to deal with the fact that I can never remember anybody’s name. And I caught myself concluding a voicemail with “okey doky doodely doo, I’ll talk to you later”. WTF! I shiver to think how many times I may have done that before my awakening.
OMG! Even though I am fluently using f-ing text abbreviations I have begun to think I may not be knarly after all. In fact I think I might be Ned Flanders.