September 18, 2010

Lesson from The Range

I won’t go into whether or not people should own guns or even whether or not we do.  The fact is you can rent them at most gun ranges. I will say knowledge is power. To know your way around a gun, how to operate it, and general safety is important in making your point whichever side of the 2nd Amendment fence you’re on.

With that little disclaimer out of the way, let me tell you about my day at the gun range.

When you go to a range as an inexperienced shooter, they will briefly instruct you in gun and range safety.  Hopefully you are with someone who is experienced and can educate you further.  I was and they did, but there were a few things that nobody mentioned.

Lessons from the range:

Usually indoor ranges are not air conditioned. This can be a problem if you live in Florida, it’s high summer, and you’re wearing mascara.

Safety dictates eye protection. It looks like a clear version of the cataract sunglasses your grandma wears. The glasses cover your eyes, wrap around the sides and keep out projectiles... and air.  So when you sweat like a… well a fat chick in a gun range, your mascara will run like coal tears.  (Extra precaution must then be taken that you are not mistaken for a raccoon by the frustrated hunter in the next stall, and get shot.)

Don’t wear your flip flops, bedazzled or not. When shell casings fly from the business end of a 9mm they are hot. When they land on your flip flopped foot they will burn your French tipped tootsies for a fairly well. This could cause you to jump. One should never never jump with a loaded 9mm in your hand, it’s bad form.

When at long last you finally do hit the target, or at least the paper the silhouetted bad guy is drawn on, don’t cry out, “eat that mother f-er”... again, bad form.

And last but not least. If you want to be treated with any respect whatsoever, don’t let the range master see you cry.

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