Nothing like a new job to make the dryer break, the dishwasher act up and the rear passenger side tire to go flat two blocks from a tire store that you don’t know is there so you wait an hour in the rain for AAA.
However, there are always little gems waiting for us in the fray. Such as?
I think of myself as a panda. Panda with aardvark tendencies but I digress. Apparently late 20’s, new to the big city, born and bred
cracker tow truck drivers find me rather cougar-esque. (Suck it Courtney Cox) Florida
So back to the flat: la la la singing in the rain, not! Afternoons in
Central Florida the ocean breezes collide with the gulf breezes and it rains like hell for a brief time. Roughly just long enough to put a doughnut on an Escort. The cracker and me got right soggy. Then we got in the tow truck and he got a little salty.
He took off his wet shirt! It was approximately 97 degrees that day, but when he said he didn’t want to get pneumonia, I took him at his word. He said he didn’t think my doughnut would make it all the way to my house, by the way, what was my address? They need to know that for the AAA records don’t they?
“Well alright then”, he responded to my rejection of his offer to follow me home, “lemme just show you where the tire store is”. Then it moved! Now maybe I’m getting a little weirded out.
He had dropped the truck into gear. “Don’t worry I ain’t kidnapping you.”
Okay, passing weird headed right for OH SHIT!
“No, I can find it don’t worry about me.” I paused for response.
“Alright then,” he grinned.
I slid out of the truck, the pelting rain drenching the top I was still wearing.
“Look here now, don’t tell your husband I was flirting with you alright?”
Oh, is that was that was! Sigh of relief.
“Don’t worry,” I told him, “ it’s been so long, I didn’t even know it was happening.”
Look for my new video on DVD: PANDA’S IN WET SENSIBLE POLYESTER BLOUSES GONE WILD.
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