September 29, 2008

TV, Underwear and the Mailbox

Tonight I watched TV in my underwear/big shorts.


This evening's episode of How I Met Your Mother dealt with Marshall's urge to find the burger he once loved but more importantly the increase in his underwear ratio.

The underwear ratio is how far you are willing to travel outside of your bedroom in your underwear. You see one of the show's characters, Marshall, has been out of work for a while and spending more and more time in his underwear. His ratio went from the bedroom to the bathroom, but then stretched to the couch, to opening the door to get the paper, and before you know it he was going downstairs to get the mail in his boxers. The last straw shows Marshall out to dinner with his wife in his underwear.


So my underwear ratio has been increasing!

With each rejection letter. With each bill that I pay, bringing me closer to the point where I may have to go back to the cubical world. With each weekly visit to the self-inflicted torture chamber that houses the bathroom underwear ratio increases.

My mailbox is approximately 60 feet from my front door and I have made the journey sans what would traditionally be considered pants.

Don't judge me!

We all have an underwear ratio, and I hope yours is short. I hope you never go to the mailbox in your underwear. (It should be noted this is not the same as going to the mail box in your lingerie because your neighbor is a fireman. And it should be noted I only did that a few times and it was 20 years and 2o tons ago, before I found out the fireman was gay.)

But I digress.

I hope that the distance you travel in your underwear is determined by your sense of adventure and not your lack of give a shit. I hope that you look good in your underwear and that you don't even own big shorts. I hope that my neighbors are nearsighted.

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