This may turn into a recurring post, but for today, let’s just focus on long nails. And I think we’ll start with long toe nails on anyone. Gawd they are gross; a toe jam petri dish of nasty fungal podiatric jock ich, crammed under superfluous nail protruding past the rightful end of the toe, and collecting that which is harbored at ground level.
Long fingernails on men; words cannot express my revulsion. Speaking in generalities, think about what all men do with their hands… And all that is getting caught under their finger nails. The thought is too much for me to bear so I shall move on.
Long fingernails on women... Speaking in generalities, women are cleaner than men, and I still think long fingernails are gross. Especially those Frito Lay Scoops some women have glued onto their hands and then airbrushed with tacky designs. Now I know that I am probably pissing a few of you off right now, but I have seen some of you dig the remains of lunch out from under those acrylic talons and feast on it.
Pardon me while I barf.
Ok, I am back. So as I was saying; if you use your hands for just about anything, such as pumping gas, handling money, opening a door, or shaking hands with others, and then proceed to bulldoze food onto your fork using your pink and white backhoe, or lick a finger that has one of these germ catching shovels attached to the end of it, you may as well pick the next construction worker you see exiting the honey pot and lick his ass crack.
Now, if your fingers nails are short because you chew them off, regardless of whether or not you use your tongue to launch the gnawed off keratin projectile into the general public, you’re still gross.