Gobble Alot

Here's our bird from a few years ago. This year we are hoping to finish up the left overs so we can do a new one next year.

Happy Thanksgiving .

James Bland

Quantum of Solace Possible alternative titles:

Quantum of Sucks…. no that’s childish, move on.

Quality of Solace Not Good…. maybe, no, keep going.

Quantum of Sultry….would be nice if it were true, it wasn’t even a little bit sexy.

Quantum of Suspense…let’s see; car chase, check, boat chase, check, plane chase, check, exotic girls, check, total lack of a feasible story, check. No, pretty much no suspense here, just formula.

Quantum of Time I Would Like To Have Back… yep that’s it, that should be the title.

But you can’t get your time back, so wait for the DVD on this one so you can at least watch it in your underwear while you're painting your toes or drinking wine or talking on the phone or watching another movie at the same time….you get the idea.

Bingo Night in Hell

Yesterday we went to church. For me it was part of my sporadic plans to avoid going to hell; but I’m pretty sure I made my situation worse. We ducked out early because the service went on too long to suit me. Then went to breakfast where I ate food that is so not on my diet and proceeded to make fun of the pastor for a half an hour. It was some pretty funny stuff; I even wrote some of it down.

Wow, I am a bitch.

That’s when it hit me. While mocking this church on paper I realized that the only thing wrong with them is that they didn’t get services over fast enough to suit me. There was some other stuff, but I am not going to dis people who welcomed two strangers without question. We didn’t feel that this church was for us, so we won’t go back, no big deal. And I really wish I would have toughed it out till the service was over, geez would it have killed me. NO!

Yes, I know going to church won’t guarantee you a pass on eternal bingo night at St. Lucifer’s, but picking a church just because they get you out in time to beat the rush at Denny’s isn’t going to help either.

Touching Home

Thus continued a wonderful evening of film and conversation that Wendy and I had Saturday evening at the Melbourne Independent Filmmakers Festival.

The festival, celebrating ten years of showcasing independent film, is unknown to many Central Floridians. That is unfortunate, because the production value of the festival events is top notch and the films presented are representative of the best local and international independent film makers.

The night air was cool and breezy by Central Florida standards, the food and drink were fantastic and we had just finished viewing a film by Logan and Noah Miller that is a sure bet to establish the careers of these twin brothers from Northern California.

The highlight of the festival for Wendy and me was the MIFF VIP Screening and Reception that began with a red carpet arrival for many of the film makers, including the Miller brothers. The evening continued with the Florida premier of Touching Home, the first feature film by Logan and Noah Miller. The brothers wrote, directed, produced and starred in the film which also features four time Academy Award nominee Ed Harris. This was only the third screening of the film, following the San Francisco Film Festival and a showing in Calgary, Alberta.

The film is a heartfelt story of two brothers seeking success as professional baseball players while attempting to reconcile the pain and love they have for their homeless, alcoholic father. The photography was lovely and captured the lighting of Northern California perfectly. Although they have no formal film or acting training, Logan and Noah have accomplished what few in Hollywood are capable of doing. They reached an audience emotionally by way of a simply told story with no special effects, no CGI and a budget smaller than the cost of some homes in Central Florida.

Following the film, we joined the viewing audience outside in a beautiful courtyard setting for the VIP Reception. Logan and Noah Miller eventually found their way to the food tables and that’s when Wendy saw her golden opportunity and the scene played out pretty much as described in the opening of this post.

We talked with both brothers and shared some common screenwriting missteps, conversed briefly about Northern California locale and in general found their enthusiasm for film infective. They were polite and asked for our business cards, (fortunately Wendy had the foresight to bring some!) and they graciously encouraged us to “just do it”! With our screenplay well on its way to completion, this was a great shot in the arm to keep our motivation going.

Wendy and I both agree that this is the best film we’ve seen in 2008. Wherever you are, find a way to see Touching Home. There will be huge buzz on this project and I’m convinced that the two young men we met Saturday night are going to have a long, illustrious career in the movie business.

A Saturday Afternoon Threesome

Yesterday we went down to the Melbourne Independent Filmmakers Festival, more on that later.

While there we stopped by Meg O’Malley’s where we had a threesome; and I gotta tell you, it was the best I ever had. But with the balls and the big irish sausage it took 3 beers to get the taste out of my mouth so I’d be ready for the next course.

(Here you may add your own jokes about ordering up a Threesome, but mind you, Wayne tried this yesterday and I wasn’t amused until he said something that was so funny I had to give in. It was really nasty or I’d tell you what it was, suffice to say he make me snort beer.)

Wayne had the ribs and chips. I really liked the chips. I had the Irish stew. Really good; I just wish it had been a wee bit warmer. The place was packed on this Saturday afternoon but we were seated in about 15 minutes and even got to catch a little of the Buckeye’s game on one of the many TVs around the bar.

Our server Tiffany was great, a nice girl who didn’t let us go to long with out checking on us but never asked how the food was just when I had taken a bite. In all we had a great time at so check it out, it’s in the historic district of downtown Melbourne.

Wayne Hates Cold Bread

“I like it fresh and warm,” he says, so I can’t put bread in the refrigerator. Since there are only two of us and we now live in Florida, I usually end up throwing away a lot of bread.

Long before I actually went to college, I lived in a basement apartment on campus. My bed was on the floor and in the winter I slept in a hat, socks and the year it snowed till April I slept in my coat. What’s this got to do with bread? Lot’s of times I went without bread! You may argue that had I not gone to bars I might have had more bread, but I was fairly cute and could often get a free drink for just a smile, (which was all I was willing to give up mind you) but somehow 21 and trolling for drinks with your gal pals seemed ok, while hanging out in the bread aisle rarely worked.

Aw they were wonder days, but I was sans wonder bread. And I admit it; there was once or twice when I took some toilet paper from gas station bathrooms. Wayne wanted to know why I didn’t go for places with better quality TP, like a nice hotel or restaurant. Because, they know the look of stealers, good luck getting past the front desk if you’re carrying a big purse.

Side thought: I wonder why I was ok with lifting TP from the gas stations, extra ketchup and sugar packets from burger joints but it never, never occurred to me to steal bread. I mean I’m glad it didn’t and that I never really starved, but how did my subconscious come up with a rationalization for TP and ketchup?

So that, together with my mother’s voice telling me throughout the seventies of all the starving children, makes me really hate waste. And I have changed my ways. Kind of like Earl, I try to consider the full consequences of my actions these days.

I wonder… if you steal TP will Karma give you hemorrhoids?

Presents To Us From Us

We just got Final Draft 7,
I wish I would have had it my whole life.
I love you Final Draft.

The Vanity of Chuck Lorre

If you watch TV you probably have at least heard of Chuck Lorre, because he has produced shows such as The Big Bank Theory, (one of my current favorites), Two and a Half Men, Dharma and Greg, Cybill, and Grace Under Fire.

When the credits roll at the end you will see one of his vanity cards. A quick flash of a white card with some of his thoughts. Too quick to read, but luckily he has a website. And from time to time one of his cards get censored. While perusing the cards after Monday's episode of Big Bang, Wayne found this one, and I loved it.

So check out some of his cards, I think you'll find him quite the cunning linguist.

28 To Go

Yesterday was our anniversary. We have a lot going on right now so we kept it simple. I made a cake and Wayne brought me a rose. We drank Chandon from glasses we got on a trip to Chandon during our honeymoon.

When we first got married, which was long before we got legally married, Wayne promised to give me 30 years and then we would renegotiate.

Wayne, I'll give you my whole life and then some on any terms you choose. Love, Wendy

F Going to Prison

One of my favorite bloggers, The Death Chic, as offered us a way to stay out of prison. Click on the picture above to check out her theory of how making a list can keep you from killing someone, even if they got it coming.

As for my F-list:

Frogs that hop on me.
Grasshoppers that hop on me.
more to come