June 20, 2011

I Love You, Close the Door

There is a wonderful soul fulfilling contentment to being with someone you love for a long time. There is also some weird stuff that happens.

Showers together-
Wonderful: No fear of a negative reaction to father time’s cruel jokes.
Weird: Accidently (meaning you thought you could do it without getting caught) peeing on your partner’s feet a little.

Sharing a sense of humor-
Wonderful: Laughing at the same shows, comedians, movies and life’s little funny moments.
Weird: Making the same joke about an aesthetically challenged person at the same time, and thinking it would be fun to sneak around after dark putting NRA stickers on Prius’.

Board Games-
Wonderful: Drinking wine on our screened porch and playing Scrabble, just like we were playing the first time he said he loved me.
Weird: Taking FOREVER to spell, insisting that words of three letters or less is like having a small penis; bigger is better and who doesn’t want a double score.

Acceptance of the other person’s bodily functions-
Wonderful: Knowing that you love your partner and they love you for who you are, warts and all, even during the occasional outburst of a flatulent nature.
Weird: Thinking your partner’s barrage of staccato farts sounds like a Bert Bacharach song. Can you fart your way to San Jose?

Home improvement-
Wonderful: Working together to make our home beautiful.
Weird: Buying a wooden yard stick in the paint department in hopes that your partner will let you spank them with it. (Not hard or while naked or anything, just something akin to an innocent pillow fight.)

Wonderful: Being comfortable and content just being together without pretention or false modesty.
Weird: Taking a big ole Dairy Queen soft serve shit with the door open.

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