#10 Your belly muffin tops your jeans.
#9 Your ass muffin tops your jeans.
#8 Your ankles muffin top your socks.
#7 You knees muffin top your knee highs.
#6 Your thighs muffin top your fishnet seam up the back thigh high nylons. (And really you should not be wearing them, but I think you know that!)
#5 Your neck muffin tops your turtle neck.
#4 Your wrists muffin top your cuffs.
#3 Your boobs muffin top your bra, but not in a good way.
#2 Your back muffin tops your bra. (SO NOT GOOD)
And the #1 reason: Paul, drum roll please.
YOUR KOOCH HAS A MUFFIN TOP