Jolly Green Monster

Gawd I hate acting like a jealous woman. I can’t stand being around myself when I’m like this, so I can understand how it would annoy the recipient of my sulking fits of attention seeking tantrums. But there are  three of them vying for his attention and it's making me crazy.

They’re all new in his life and he is infatuated. I could handle one at a time; throw some Select Comfort acrobatics or a perfectly cooked meal at the situation, but even a wine and meat Saturday night couldn’t take his mind off them.

I could see it in his eyes as we dined and drank, he longed for them, one at a time or all at once it didn’t matter, anything but the agonizingly long game of Scrabble he had reluctantly agreed to. It hurts to see how he looks at them, touches them, so I banished them, “Me or them at least for one night, you owe me that much.” He chose me, but I could tell he had to think about it.

The first one came around at Christmas, that’s when it started. Now he never goes to the bathroom without one of them and worst of all, he sometimes brings them to bed. He says it’s just to charge them up but I know better.

Damn you Kindle and your sleek build, seemingly endless energy, interesting tales and tight leather jacket. At least he shares you with me, but only when I have an appointment and need something to keep me entertained for long periods of time.

Shame on you Bleachy-Haired Honky Bitch and the way he laughs at what you say. I am his wife; he should only laugh at what I say. I’ve seen him try to get you on Kindle, and I have offered to get on Kindle too, but he says he has seen my stuff and that is not necessary.

But it is his latest acquisition that has dominated his mind. Always at his side, where I should be, never out of his reach, begging for his attention, as I am. He says it’s the best he ever had and he never wants to go back to the way it was.

At least I know I still have his heart… that is until we get a new t.v.