June 21, 2008

Crushin on Captain Kirk

Saturday afternoons in my neck of the woods they show an episode of Star Trek and I love it because I love Captain Kirk. (In a totally sexual yet innocent way.) Mind you I am not a Trekky; I don’t go to the websites or the conventions or dress as Spock or Uhura at Halloween, that would ruin it for me. No, a good Saturday for me is to get some chores done and then settle in for an episode while half napping and waiting for Wayne to get home. The episodes are much better if you are half asleep; makes Kirk kinda dreamy like.

You should also not confuse my attraction for Captain Kirk with any sort of attraction for William Shatner. Though I enjoy his work save for
TJ Hooker, should go without saying, I don’t have a have naughty little prepubescent girl lust for him like I does for Cap'in Kirk. Allow me to elaborate.

I don’t remember if I first saw Shatner as Kirk or as a disturbed man in an episode of
The Twilight Zone; I just remember being a little girl and being totally ga-ga for Kirk. I…loved….yes loved……the way he…..talked. And the smoldering gazes, SHAZAM, hit me like a thunder bolt in my little, just discovering that boys aren’t all butt-cheese, heart. Hold me Captain, I am weak in the knees.

My brother had bunk beds in his room and would play Star Trek; the top bunk being the bridge. Sometimes I got to play, but not often, as he was older and a butt-cheese. I don’t remember what character my broham would be, but I sort of think of him as Scotty the engineer because he was always into electronics and is kinda of nerdy. (He actually went to a convention once.) If you got called up to the top bunk you were doing pretty good; usually I was the Ensign that got killed in the beginning of the episode when they beamed down to whatever planet.

I didn’t like playing with them anyway; I preferred to keep the Captain to myself. OOOO like when you got to stay home sick from school and there was an episode on. I wanted to be Kirk’s green
Orion Slave Girl soooo bad. Or that episode where he gave Uhura the shirtless tonsillectomy; daaaamn! Had I been older I would have let Kirt go where no man had gone before, but that didn’t even occur to my little girl brain, I just wanted to be grown up so he could kiss me like that. SHIVER!!

A Playdoh colored fantasy in space all wrapped up after an hour and put away till next week.

Saturday afternoons can lead to some pretty good Saturday nights around here. All grown up, I get to be Captain Wayne’s beige, farmer tanned, oh so willing slave girl, and I get to be on top whenever I want.

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