We had a sales meeting today at work. It was one of those deals where they drag us all into the conference room, hop us up on coffee and doughnuts and make us do the company cheer. Rah rah shoot me now, go team, in the face. What’s our motto?...I ‘d rather have hot coals up my ass than be in this meeting! Well…I may have changed a few of the words but I’m sure a few other people were thinking the same thing.
I mean it really isn’t that bad, hell it’s time out of the cube so I can’t complain…but I will!
After all, management is offering us ways to make incentives for cross selling, that’s like extra pay just for being annoying and pushy, so again, can’t really complain, but I will. I was raised to be annoying and pushy for free. It just seems somehow tawdry to get paid for it. When you’re giving it away you can pick and choose, but put a sales quota on it and now I’ve got to push every Tom, Dick and Harry that dials my number. Now that’s annoying.
And the guy pimping this sales meeting was walking around saying stuff like, “There’s more where that came from if you hit your goals.” Or “Bend over backwards….for your team sales drive, the effort will pay off.” Every time one of the cubies chimed in with the desired response he’d toss a buck at them. Hell, had I known there was going to be an old guy at the meeting with a pocket full of $1 bills I would have worn a different outfit.