Shit, I know shit is bad right now, but you don’t know how bad it could be. This Thursday’s non-new review takes a look at what our future might be, if we don’t stop massive consumption of sports drinks, shopping at Costco, and watching reality TV.
Want to see a juvenile movie done by people with a sophomoric sense of humor (Mike Judge, think Beavis and Butt-Head) that has a devastatingly frightening truth? Well, that may be a trifle dramatic but this movie wouldn’t be worth much of a look, if it weren’t an unsettling look at our possible future.
Just suppose that the most inept dumbass slacker of today was the most adept crisis manager of the future. An extremely un-ambitious army private who just wants to get out of the way, is the unwilling monkey for an experiment that lands him and his co-monkey 500 years in the future. Private Joe Bauers, played by Luke Wilson and Rita, played by Maya Rudolph, a hooker rented to the army by her pimp, turn out to be our best hope for the reclamation of intelligent life on earth.
The movie starts out with a hilarious, yet sad and true, explanation of how the retarded process of natural selection led to a country populated by the dim witted. They mindlessly meander through their existence while being bottle fed giant drinks and processed goo during the most vulgar reality TV shows and movies.
World leaders are not exempt. In the movies most unrealistic scenario, the President of America (Terry Crews; Everybody Hates Chris) is a wrestler type who has replaced saluting with flipping the bird. This could never happen; I mean really, the farthest a wrestler could get is Governor of America right?
Also Appearing: Dax Shepard plays Frito, a Costco educated Lawyer and our second best hope for the future. Justin Long as a dumb Dr and Thomas Haden Church make amusing cameos.
Rita, who has hidden the fact that her boyfriend Upgrayedd is really her pimp, looks for redemption in the future, while Joe finds his true potential. There are lessons for us all in this satirical exploration of the dumbing down of America. Hopefully renting this movie will give you pause the next time you pass up a book sale, tune into Springer, or order food from someone using a picture menu.